The past couple of years, Gloria and I  have taken a mid January vacation in Virgin Gorda, in the British Virgin Islands.  We stay in a villa in a small, quiet resort, and enjoy a re-energizing week of warmth and relaxation.  (Photo is a shot from the rocks looking back on the small beach).  Apart from the obvious (the warmth of the Caribbean) this is always for me a wonderful opportunity for reading, writing and reflection.

This trip, I took Donald Miller’s latest book, “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years“, a wonderful stimulation for the heart and soul, and great cause of reflection for the beginning of a new year and new decade.  Miller’s point is a simple one, a great life will have the ingredients of a great story.  Great stories or movies are full of tension and struggle and overcoming the challenge.  He writes, “Writing a story isn’t about making your peaceful fantasies come true.  The whole point of the story is the character arc. You didn’t think joy could change a person did you?  Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over.  But it’s the conflict that changes a person.” Interesting don’t you think, how we spend so much time and energy trying to keep safe and comfortable, all the while robbing ourselves of the ingredients of a great story.

» Continue reading “2010 … Engaging the Character Arc”

In his third book Conversations with God, Neal Donald Walsch wrote – “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” I think he is right don’t you. At least it has been my experience.

Erica Jong wrote – “Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads”. We really do not discover who we are or what we are made of, until we pass through the fringe of our experience and enter that place where comfort and convenience are left behind and discovery and risk take over. It is the place where life really gets interesting and fully rewarding, but for most of us, we opt for that place of comfort and status quo. We can read an idea, hear a challenge, think a possibility, and just not respond. We may move close, take a look, make a wish or even dare to dream, and then something happens inside, and we shrink back to a previous, safer place.

» Continue reading “Confronting the COMFORT ZONE…”

A few months back while sitting in a boat fishing with a couple of friends, I noticed a field mouse on the river bank. He emerged out of his hole, darted in a couple of directions, and then scurried back. I thought of the existence of this little creature. His life is spent running around, frightened and frantic, following his nose. He darts here, scurries there, turns in circles, but never really sees much beyond his nose. He is trying to sniff his way to successful living, which defined, by a mouse’s existence, is finding some daily morsel to consume, to sustain him, so that he can carry on for the rest of his life, frightened and frantic. Sound familiar.

» Continue reading “A Field Mouse or An Osprey…”

I believe there is in all of us a “great part” and a “lesser part”. I believe there is within us a capacity for greatness, and the potential to be far less than we are capable of being. I like to call the great part – SOUL, and the lesser part – EGO.

When we work from the soul, that is from that deep, inner core of our being, we will discover within us the great qualities of our character and the creative powers of our “personhood” that will make us all we can be. On the other hand, when our egos get calling the shots, as they often do, we lose that potential for greatness and find ourselves functioning on a level far less than our true self is capable of.

» Continue reading “Reach for the GREAT PART….”

Assessing 2009
It is the day before Christmas, and in my personal reflection time this morning I engaged in what has become a personal annual ritual of journaling through an assessment process of the past year. I like to do this, as a way of trying to capture the essence of another year gone by. I also like to do it, because over the next few days I will be identifying my goals and objectives for 2010, and this time of evaluation and reflection, sets the stage for looking ahead at another year.

Hal Borland wrote, “Year end is neither an end or a beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us”. I need to get better. I want to learn how to get better. I want to be the best “me” I can possibly be. The only way I know how to do this, is to keep trying. This year end ritual is part of this larger process.

As we approach the final few days of 2009, I thought I would share with you the questions that I use in my year end journaling exercise, in case they might be helpful for your year end reflection time …

» Continue reading “How Does One Evaluate a Year in His Life?”

As I write this, there are only 40 days left in the year, and the predominant thought in my mind is – Where did it go? I have been wondering this for some time, now I am absolutely certain, something is happening in the cosmos, that is making each year a shorter period of time than the previous one. Where has 2009 gone?!!

We say interesting things about time … “I don’t have enough time” … “If I only had more time” … “Can you give me more time” … etc. etc. We see it as some commodity that we can create or collect, but in reality, time is but a measuring tool, the real comodity is life. Time is the stuff life is made of. J. K. Rawling wrote, “Time is making fools of us again”.

David Russell wrote, “the present is a point just past”. It has been said, that the inertia hardest to overcome is that of a perfectly good second. The older I get, the more I am reminded of the importance of cherishing the moment. I want to measure time by sensation and meaning, not with clocks and calendars.

Fourty days left in this calendar year … that’s a 40 day window of opportunity for cherished moments and building momentum that will carry us into the new year with optimism and energy.

HByne

A sports team starts the year off playing above its potential and it is as if it cannot lose. Then one loss leads to another, and before long it is as if it cannot win. The early momentum is lost and a downward spiral has taken over. Or you start your round of golf off with a couple of pars, then a birdie, and you have visions of your best ever score. You hit a bad shot, then another, miss a short putt, and before long all that positive energy has dissipated and you’re hacking and wacking your way to a terrible score. Positive accomplishment has given way to negative momentum.

In life and in your business experience nothing is more critical and impacting than establishing and maintaining momentum. It is so critical at this time of year, because ending a year with negative momentum can have a crucial effect on the way your new year begins.

Here are a few keys to understanding this thing we call momentum…

» Continue reading “Finish The Year With Momentum”

One of the most important exercises I lead while coaching, is to get the person to engage what I call a “Personal Inventory”.  At the end of this inventory process I always ask for the person to identify their “achilles heel”.

Achilles, according to Greek mythology was the most handsome and bravest hero of the Trojan war.  When he was a baby, his mother, Thetis, took him down to the river Styx, where it was believed the water had magic powers, and she believed would protect him for life.  She held the baby by one of his heels, and neglected to get that heel under the water.  Later, as the story goes, Achilles was killed from behind by Apollo, and the phrase achilles has remained as a metaphor for our most debilitating weakness.

Do you know what your achilles is?

» Continue reading “Achilles…”

“… there is a knowing I feel that guides me toward better stories, toward being a better character”
Miller book

“Humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if they have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn’t all that comfortable … characters don’t want to change. They must be forced to change”

“… the second you stand up and point toward a horizon, you realize how much there is to lose … as you point toward a horizon, life no longer feels meaningless. And suddenly there is risk in your story and a question about whether you’ll make it”

“… every other person, faces resistance when trying to create something good … resistance that comes against you when you point toward a distant horizon, is a sure sign that you are suppose to do the thing in the first place …”

“… there is a force in the world that doesn’t want us to live good stories …”

“… great stories go to those who don’t give in to fear”