This above all:  To thine own self be true, 

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man         Shakespeare – Hamlet

I love the “Dove for Men – Journeys to Comfort” television commercial series, where the professional athlete gets up front and personal. A favorite is Brendan Shanahan, talking about his early years, his start in hockey, his marriage and family life, and the experience hoisting the Stanley Cup. The commercial ends with the Dove tag line – “I’m Brendan Shanahan and I’m comfortable in my own skin”

I like these commercials because I personally know the experience of notbeing comfortable in my own skin, and I know the dramatic difference of arriving at that place. I also know from working with people in a coaching capacity, that so many are struggling with this, and have been all their lives. The human experience can be a very unhappy place when a person is desperately reaching for some idea of success, and trying to get there without first arriving at the place of personal authenticity.
» Continue reading “COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN ??!!”

“In the game of life, nothing is less important than the score at halftime.” Andy Andrews

How’s your year going?

It doesn’t seem possible but 2011 is just about half over.

How’s your life going?

Most of you reading this will be experiencing, at least from time to time, the stark realization that your life is fast approaching the half-way point.  For many of us, that halfway point is long gone.

The quote at the top of the page is a most important reflection point.  Whether looking at the current year, or the larger perspective of our lives, there is a score, and we are either winning or losing, with respect to the goals and objectives we have set.  However, it is not the current score that matters, in fact nothing is less important right now.

We have all watched a sporting event, and watched as the teams headed for the dressing room at half time.  One team went off with a spring in their step, visions of victory dancing in their heads, while the other, heads down, were the picture of dejection and defeat.  It is not the retreat to the dressing room at half time that completes the story, it is what happens next that matters.

» Continue reading “THE SCORE AT HALFTIME . . .”

The quality I admire most about my entrepreneur clients, is their capacity to see the vision clearly and articulate it with passion. I love it when their face lights up and they become energized and animated in describing what they envision for the future. I enjoy trying to help them clarify what they see, and build strategy into the process. I love it when seeing becomes believing.
» Continue reading “SEEING IS BELIEVING”

Being a hockey fan, one of the intriguing, fun experiences during the latter part of February is watching as the drama of the NHL trade deadline unfolds. The teams in the hunt for the coveted Stanley Cup, are trying to find that one player that will make the difference in their run for victory. Those out of the championship race are seeking to unload salary and personnel that do not fit into their long range plans. It is a lot like the challenge you face in business as you try to build the right team for achieving your business vision.
» Continue reading “FINDING THE BEST PEOPLE”

 I was watching a news clip recently about 12 year old Ashlyn Blocker of Gainesville Florida. Ashlyn is one of 35 people on this planet who suffers from the condition CIPA, known as Congenital De-sensitivity. Hearing stories of undetected illnesses and ignored injuries of those like Ashlyn was moving indeed.

Later, reflecting on this news story, I thought of how much time, energy we expend, and money we spend, trying to avoid pain, treat pain and get rid of it all together. I thought of how we are bombarded with commercial messages promising that the purchase of a particular product will ease the pain and make us feel better. We just don’t like to experience pain and distress and will do anything to avoid it.

Reflecting further, I thought of how often in my coaching experiences, the initial challenge is to get a person to acknowledge that something is critical and needs to be addressed. We often opt for the illusion that everything is OK, rather than recognize the issue and its implication. Our avoidance of the problem can become a serious condition that de-sensitizes us to the need to change.

People who have the condition known as CIPA rarely make it to their 25th birthday, because their brain will not warn them of the impending danger of what the illness or injury is doing to their bodies. In life and business, we need to acknowledge that something is wrong, or we cannot / will not deal with it. In fact, if you think about it, it is only at the point of struggle and the feeling of discomfort, that we are ever motivated to take action and change.

» Continue reading “ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN”

I love to walk this time of year … I love the rustle of the leaves underfoot, and the canopy of colour overhead.  I love the opportunity it avails for thought and reflection. 

On a walk the other day, I found myself reflecting on a question I had been asked earlier that day during a coaching session.  The individual, struggling to maintain his momentum asked, “Where do you get your energy and how do you keep it up, all the time?”  Of course I do not stay energized all the time, no one does, and as I walked  that day, I was reflecting on the cycles and seasons of life, and the ebbs and flows in my own life.  I thought of the fact that the foiliage on the trees had to die, so the trees could burst forth into new life in a few months.  I realized that anything that is alive will experience cycles and seasons, and the depletion of energy is simply part of the cycle.

» Continue reading “Maintaining Energy for the Journey”

Early one morning last week, while sitting on the shore of a small lake on Manitoulin Island, I was caused to reflect on the amazing wonder and power of wings. The lake was completely still and there was a very slight mist hovering over the water. As I sipped my first coffee of the morning, I was enthralled by the enchanting call of the loon, and then captivated by the sight of two Herons as they flew in tandum just a few yards from where I was sitting and what appeared to be a foot above the water.

The evening before, as we sat around our campfire, we were caused to look up in awe at the site of an eagle overhead. The eagle appears to soar effortlessly with those mighty wings spread, the herons wings flap rhythmically, and the loon, although it can fly 110 km per hour, never soars, but must work its wings continually to maintain flight.

» Continue reading “IT’S ALL ABOUT THE WINGS …”

A couple of weeks ago Gloria and I celebrated our 40th anniversary at one of our favorite places in the world, our friends cottage on Lake Huron. As I sat on the deck, and watched yet another magnificent Port Albert sunset, I was reflecting on the beauty of the moment, the countless special moments over the years, and how critical it is that we not miss the moment.

I remembered, as I often do (some of you have heard me recount this story) that moment sitting on the deck of my London home, grumbling about the fact that half the children in the neighbourhood were in my back yard chewing up my grass and trampling my flowers. Gloria’s comment has been forever etched in my mind and heart … “One day the kids will be gone and the grass will still be here” WOW, how true!

» Continue reading “CHERISH THE MOMENTS !!”

Leo Buscaglia wrote, “Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized”

I spend a great deal of time planning and strategyzing for myself, and helping others build their success plans. I believe this to be the absolute most critical key to acheiving success. It is however very important to realize that there is only one point in time that we ever really have control over, and that is the present moment. To fail to plan will result in missing life’s most important moments, and to fail to followthrough with your plan will get you the same results.

Let’s take a moment here … I want to encourage you to STOP and reflect in this moment. Are there memories of past moments lost? Are there present opportunities you are in danger of missing? Is there someone you need to connect with or something you need to do that you have been putting off? Is the noise and clutter of your mind causing you to not be present in important moments?
» Continue reading “SOME KEYS TO SEIZING THE MOMENT”

I enjoy watching my grandkids play sports.  Most intriguing the past couple of years has been watching 10 year old Adam experience the learning curve of playing baseball.  Here, after hitting a single, he gets instruction from the first base coach  … pay attention to the signs, watch the pitch, get ready to run, go when I tell you, don’t go if it is a catchable fly ball, watch the runner on second, etc. etc. When in the field, there is another list of things to remember … move in, play deeper, move over, back up the throw to at first base, watch the runner, check the sign, try to get the lead runner, etc. etc.  Sometimes these young player are just spinning and total confusion results, other times they simply lose focus and forget to follow through with their assignment.  It is interesting for me to watch the frustration levels of the coach elevate, adding to the confusion on the field.

Watching baseball is a different experience to watching hockey. Although I would rather watch a hockey game any day, I thoroughly enjoy watching Adam’s ball games (sitting in a lawn chair on a warm summer evening beats the cold arena hands down). The slower pace however allows for a more cerebral and strategic interaction between the coach and the player.  While watching  the game, my mind often wanders as I reflect on coaching experience I may have had earlier that day.  I wonder if I had been effective in helping my client, think through the options and proceed to the next base.

I want my grandson to develop the skills, pay attention to the coaches, learn the game, but above all else, I want him to experience personal joy and fullfillment in the process.  We all know how debilitating it can be when joy and fulfillment has vacated the experience.

With this ezine greeting, goes out my sincere wish that you will find the personal fulfillment and experience genuine joy as you engage the challenge of the game.        H Byne